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Why don’t you like immigrants?

Because they come to our country to rape my daughters.

You know that’s not true. A twenty-year-old mother with her baby is not a rapist.

Yes, but her husband is. And the mother could be a terrorist.


Or she takes my job. Her baby grows up to take a seat in our local school. She uses my health care, school lunches, housing, and municipal services. Add chain immigration, overcrowding, traffic congestion, racial and ethnic tension, petty crime, felonies. Shall I continue?

I guess you believe the propaganda.

You bet I do.

Everyone here in America, except for Native Americans, comes from somewhere else. Wouldn’t we have to empty the country, if we treat all immigrant families the same?

My family came over from Europe during the Civil War.

Yes, and residents probably treated your family the same way you want to treat families who cross the Arizona border. Your great-great-grandparents didn’t receive a warm welcome.

Doesn’t matter.

Why not?

We’re settled here now. No one gives us any trouble.

I don’t follow your reasoning. Do you say that because your family came to America first, they deserve better treatment than families who come to America now?

That’s exactly what I’m saying.

How does that hold up? How does being first in line give you special privileges?

The country was mostly empty then. It had room for new people.

You don’t think we have room for new people now?

Look, when you stand in line at the box office, eventually they say, we’re out of tickets. People at the back of the line go home empty-handed.

You’re comparing immigration policy to buying tickets at a box office.

Tickets were available in 1860. They’re not available now.

Why not?

We don’t want rapists and terrorists who submit fake requests for asylum. We’re fed up taking care of the rest of the world.

Don’t you think America’s a better place because your family came here?

Of course.

Then why don’t newer immigrants improve the country, too?

Illegals never improve the country. They’re just leeches.

I suppose we could deport legal residents with dark skin, to make room for newcomers who have light skin.

That’s an idea! I wish I’d thought of that!

That wouldn’t be legal.

Who cares? We’re not talking about the law here. We’re talking about America First.

You don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.

Look, I just hate ’em. That’s all I have to say.